> Gabe clearly already knows that he is different; there's absolutely no point in telling him this, other than to hurt him.

That’s from top of thread, and what I’m disagreeing with. My stance is he should be told so he can understand, process, ask questions, be supported, in a safe positive environment.

Never discussing it is the same as ignoring it and he will notice or be told by someone. It might just be some innocent 3 year old on a playground, but he will be told. But you’re letting him deal with that in the moment unprepared if you don’t proactively address it as a parent. All kinds of bad could come from that.