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And the naming restrictions and maximum name lengths are all over the place: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/azure-resource-manag...

Storage accounts are one of the worst offenders here. I would really like to know what kind of internal shenanigans are going on there that prevent dashes to be used within storage account names.

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I wonder if it's related to the fact that Windows as such weird rules about allowed file names. Like not directly obviously, more like culturally inside microsoft.
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I’m pretty sure Azure was built out with Hyper-V, which was built into the Windows kernel. So everything that relied on virtualization would’ve had bizarre case insensitivity and naming rules.

I’ve lost track of servers in Azure because the name suddenly changed to all uppercase ave their search is case sensitive but whatever back-end isn’t.

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Isn't case insensitivity a Win32 thing only? I would not expect it to impact stuff in Hyper-V or the windows kernel. AFAIK for example NTFS is case-sensitive.
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I would not dismiss something like that directly being the cause. Not the reason you can't name a file "CON" on Windows, but it's very likely some weird ass thing they were stringing together with Windows Server and Hyper-V and SMB backed them into the corner we're all in now
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