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Have you ever tried to sleep while the person next to you watches a movie at full volume?
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Yeah, it sucks. I agree with you, they should be brutally murdered.
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That's too harsh, a regular murder would suffice.
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Just put them in row 24 on a Boeing 737 max and let the problem take care of itself.
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Just open the window
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Boeing tried this new feature.
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Not a bug, works as intended.
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> That's too harsh, a regular murder would suffice.

Correct. Kicking someone off during a flight and not giving them a parachute counts as a regular murder...

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Requisite link to satirical study

"Parachute use to prevent death and major trauma when jumping from aircraft: randomized controlled trial"

https://www.bmj.com/content/363/bmj.k5094

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For all siblings, I think parent was suggesting "while in flight". i.e. dropping them from 30k feet. Hence harsh...
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Not harsh enough. They belong in the special level of hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theatre.
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NO TICKET
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I wonder how many people got this reference.

Anyway, for those who did not: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCZ86O3PO-U

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Could have also gone for Dogma (which of course references that clip) https://youtu.be/PpckOsftaP4?si=DDlDY3ZK7FoUcKrn&t=41
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Harsh, but fair.
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Now explain why it wouldn’t also be fair to kick people off that were loudly emitting disgusting flatulence. Is it because they “might” not have control over it? Can I not claim I also “might” not have the control over my impulsive desire to listen to music or that I can’t use headphones for a medical issue?

I mean such a thing I would say equally detracts from the flying experience, so why not also kick those people off?

Edit: not sure why I’m getting downvoted, this is a legitimate question. I genuinely want to hear the justification.

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You'd have a more convincing argument if you argued for a passenger with Tourette's or something. Bodily functions are obviously different from watching a movie at full volume, because there's never a situation where you would be involuntarily blasting the audio of your show or whatever to the whole plane.
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Okay, Tourette’s then. Should we kick people off for Tourette’s?

Your comment also presupposes two things: that flatulence is always involuntary and blasting music isn’t. Let’s say I have a form of Tourette’s that forces me to involuntarily blast noise and music and I have medical papers to prove it. Is it okay then?

I would absolutely support it if you could demonstrate that those two things are actually true. My point is: Who gets to decide what’s legitimately an involuntary medical issue and what isn’t, and where is the line that demarcates it? And what is the point of this exercise? It’s to prevent people from forcing everyone else to have a worse experience for their own personal gain, which flatulence is a form of that you could argue, so why is blasting music fundamentally different?

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We're talking about music coming from a phone. Not a person. Just turn the phone off or uninstall tiktok. Or put it in your bag.
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Are you seriously making the argument blasting music or a movie or whatever is an involuntary bodily function?
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Yes. Because I'm asking the question who decides what is involuntary or not. Who is it? It seems like there is a presupposition here, but who is defining that?

Coming back to the Tourette's example: let's say someone starts shouting cuss words and loudly annoying everyone else "involuntarily". Do they get kicked off the plane? Why or why not? Who decides that? Does the person have to present medical evidence that they have Tourette's to not get kicked off the plane? If so, can they also present medical evidence of a condition that causes them to spontaneously press play on their mobile devices with no headphones and would that be accepted?

I'm obviously not defending the behavior of the loud-music-on-plane-players, or advocating that everyone needs to smell everyone's farts. I'm pointing out that this is something that is arbitrary and weaponizable.

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Seems like this flew right over a few heads.
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and yet the joke fell right into our laps
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United says we should tone down the sarcasm
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> During flights? Sounds a bit harsh.

Sounds harsh to you.

Let the market decide.

Vote with your wallet and fly a different airline.

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But kicking someone off mid-flight at high altitude is still a bit harsh. I hope they give them parachutes at least.
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FUN FACT: Aviation rules require that any plane carrying a parachute must have at least one for every person on board. Hopefully the reason is obvious.

Now given that, do you really want to pay the extra cost of flying with 300 parachutes just so mr-full-volume-phone can have one?

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That is an incredibly fun fact. Does this only apply to commercial or also a little Cessna? Presumably there is no actual enforcement on the private planes.
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I've packed my own parachute for this hypothetical situation.
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Only if they paid extra at check-in.
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And you specifically have to request it. It isn’t a normal option during purchase.
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Nah, with how ticketing is these days they'll bug you a dozen times to choose between the $50 basic economy disaster package that only has the mask and 50% airflow or the full package for $100 that includes another 25% airflow and a flotation device. Business execute gets you the parachute, a private life raft, and a few days of MREs for $250.
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Bet it won't happen twice though.
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> give them parachutes at least

the first time

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I'm going to vote with my wallet by moving United up my priority list.
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Either you missed the joke or I missed your sarcasm. I read GP as a joke: being literally kicked out of a flight in air is a death sentence, which is a bit harsh penalty indeed.
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