I think most seasoned players, technical folks, or Mac users, would prefer Java. Java Minecraft doesn't have microtransactions, skinning your character is a matter of changing a file, and the plugin/mod support is huge. That's why I stuck to treating the server as "Java first, Bedrock supported" instead of ignoring Java and only playing Bedrock.
I brought up the bedrock/java bundle deal with the PC version since the main advantage of Bedrock is the crossplay. If you want to play with someone on (for example) android, you can simply choose to launch into bedrock on PC for multiplayer
Additionally, highlighting that Bedrock Minecraft is not supported on Mac.
There are surely other ways of enabling multiplayer Minecraft for a family than what I've described, but this is the way I'd recommend.
Also, I thought you could play the iOS version on Mac. Doesn't apple let you run iPad apps on macOS?