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Despite the hype, crypto is traceable. It is harder than other currencies and one transaction is probably untraceable. However if you are running a business you are going to get repeated payments from customers and repeatedly pay your employees and suppliers, which in turn creates enough data that they can track you down.
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Mullvad accepts Monero (XMR), the most private and untraceable coin available today. Your point is correct for all others though.
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Is it possible to obtain Monero without a trail leading back to a KYC crypto purchase, other than buying bitcoin off a guy in person with physical cash?
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Mullvad will accept envelopes of cash. They go far and above any other company when it comes to helping their customers maintain anonymity.
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Where do the people live…
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This wouldn't work for companies that require humans for now.
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Not possible. If all jurisdictions relinquish their claim over the satellite then it's open to being shot down.

The proliferation of space access goes both ways. LEO isn't exactly difficult to reach (many college teams can do it). GEO might work but then you need relays and any relay satellite are essentially tacitly complicit.

Satellite (and most aerospace related technologies) are glass cannons. They aren't defensible like a bunker or a tank.

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